USD 10,000,000,000.00

USD 10,000,000,000.00
My Check

Friday, July 4, 2014

Today with start of the end of my days

Good day july 4, 2014,

Thank you for always giving me hope but this time i think i run out of hope.  I know and understand that others might have greater problems than me nor depressed beyond my own set of dilema and fustration.  Life should be live with colors and happiness.  I now find my life meaning not really enough to sustain me.  I know the problem but i seems cant find a good sensible logic to accept this fact. Others just take what they can take while others harm the ones who make.  Others dont think while they give away something they did not worked hard for.

Life is not fair but life should be acceptable.  Writing thru this blog without readers seems unpractical and not worth it,  its logical to state all my taughts and maybe one day it will shed light on how life should be.  Accepting is never easy but its killing me slowly.  My neck and head is aching hard and its seems unable to stop.  I find it that revenge is the best way to feel better at once.  The problem is that my plan might not be perfect.  It feels good hence it is the way to go.  The problem is that upon doing such deed i may not solve the underliying problem and that is the society.  I choose to have shoulder this pain not to teach me a lesson but to earlier finish my life cause there is nothing worth here when i cant acheive another part of happiness.  I have a lovely wife,  good family and i have good things happening and yet i feel that taking away something i worked hard is killing me inside.  I cant focus nor think the way i was.  I only think that what ever i do is going to be worthless.  

I am ready to go, the will to lived vanished the moment i give in to good intentions.  Good deeds are never really about feeling good nor praise nor awarded.  Good deed is sensenless cause the result is bad.  I am currently experiencing blank taughts and i cant seem to focus well.  My mind is like expanding slowly and i can feel the blood flowing into my brain.  I know it will drive me to death and all the hardwork i did will be gone.  I hold on to love but it is bot as strong as they say.  In love you need to constantly supply it with money and effort and time.  Like i said Money and time go hand in hand.  As i spend time toward something i also spend money.

Money seems to be the guiding torch of everything.  They say money is the root of evil.  Evil is brought to you by men and women money is just a tool.  I would be more happy with more money.  Ten billion dollars cash is real money and that kind of money can make me happy forever.  I wont do bad with that kind of money in hand.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Today with Good Deed

Good day, July 2, 2014,

Thank you for a great sales for the past weeks and i am greatful that I got a light from everything happening to me this week.  It seems that everyone ups to get all the money that you have earn.  They seem to feels its their right to take it away base on their authority.  I am currently mediatating and trust me my head and neck is paying this meditation that i have.  Its seems to bother me a lot when i dont have enough power to stop injustice or justice thats injustice.  

Its like they intensionally took out your score cause they can.  Its like there is no rules in doing so and its the standard.  Everyone is not likely doing it for their sake also its like they are powerless and unable to counter everything.

I would still think that life should not be this way and if it is.  I may aswell leave this planet cause i cant change it nor can accept it.  

I feel like continuously feeling this way will eventually kill me.  Its for the good cause i cant handle this.  Its not in me to accept nor approve such injustice.  Kharma seem not enough to punish or give them enough conscience to change and be a better person.

I tell you all this may all the good people die and they may find peace when they die.  Its better and much more happy with it.  Living in this world that is not meant to be fair or equal seems the best way is to leave it to the people who seems can bare the goodness and hope for this kind of world.