Good Day January 21, 2020, thank you for letting me realize again that lofe is such a bitch. This feeling never vanished. It was simply given another look that maybe i have not tried a new thing that could help me with my current situation. Apparently i have concluded that logic does not help me resolve the thing i want most. Understanding that we as humans often asked for apples and often gets oranges. Some people deal with this differently by saying i love oranges anyway. Other tend to ignore and be depress cause they never got apples. Some People dont care what fruit they got as long as they got some. I am the type of person that make orange juice and do other stuff with the other fruits that i may get. The only problem is i am getting tired of making juices and other stuff to just make it interesting and meaning full. I may have a whole fruitbasket and do a fruit salad with out the one fruit i trully want. I want is my apples to fall and i want it to fall now.
I want to gain a significant amount of earning in a single stroke of unseen luck that withh change my lifestyle by 10000 levels. That is what i want to have but it seems that the universe is hell bent not give me the thing i want. Playing the lottery, betting big in a single Equity and hope it will rise to unprecedent levels. That would increase my cash financial liquidity by 1 million fold or more. Having this type of cash would give me security, freedom to do what ever i want with the limited time i have in this world. Others might want recognition, achievement, love and or some kind of income. My current want is to gain a significant amount now so that i could change the way i think in how to live my life. I am very lazy and i dont want to work, i only want to enjoy and do other stuff that i consider interesting and meaningful.
I cant do shit cause what i want burns thru a lot of cash fast. I understand doing stuff wont get it done fast. That i know, but having a lot of cash would let me enjoy life without anything needs to be done to gain money. I just spend and experiment the way i want.
