Today with emotions

Good day April 5, 2022

Thank you for all the things that happen and its just toady was able to write something about whats ahppening.  Since the pandemic everything seems bad and most of the people are having a hard time.  Its quite different for me but it seems that everything i been working towards is going the way i want.  In reality it seems that all the failures and all the hardships i encountered was built on the fact that soemthings like this pandemic and halt of economy is slightly adaptable.  In my eyes all the hardwork and diligence i been doing is just started to pay off and i am afraid that life would turn another curve ball and give me more problems or halt my current trajectory. The more i think about it the more i feel stressed and i feel that why in the moments that i started to feel some good it might be bad.  It seems that i dont know what to appreciate the good times and just bear with the bad time.  Maybe i just fear that one day i am not able to endure it, or maybe i am afraid that this is just a begining of a good lofe and along the way it will start to overwhelm my senses and go back to bad circumstances.  

Hardwork and luck needs to work hand in hand.  I understand more in life.  I am near my 40 and lots of people say life starts at 40.  I would say that its quite true.  this maybe the phase in my life that i may try to experiment with all the gathered experience i have and try to make something out of it.  I am afraid that all the gathered experience might cause the fall of me and it might cause me not to stand up and fight.  I know thay being afraid wont solve anything.  i am now gathering all my courage and giving it a push so that i may experience to live the life i have envision myself to have.  I have taught that regret is really the worst thing to have.  Its worst than fear and it will really breaks a person hope and will.  Its like saying i should have invested this and look today i might have this.  If you look at the goal one will surely be overwhem with it.  A lot of guys who acomplished a lot started looking to the next step focuses on what they think might bring them near to their goal.  they might reach it fast or slow.  The only thing for sure is that we are doing something to make it happen.  We really hope that it would be fast enough for us to enjoy.  Everything happening do have a reason, maybe the reason is bad or good.  One thing i do believe is true everything happened so that what should happen will happen and the future will happen according to your will.