Today with Short

Good say January 28, 2021, Thank you that i still am enjoying my love lofe.  Thank you for letting me find the one and experience it the way it should.  Life is never complete without love.  Money and Love comes hand in hand cause there a crazy saying that no money no honey.  I really think that we can experince much more romantic vibes when we do have money at our disposal.  Its really hard to enjoy other things in life if money is budgeted.  Life should be lived in abundance and having that much money would ultimately makes anyone happier.

Today with Avenue

Good day january 27, 2021,. Life is just getting started and Thank you for giving more time to me.  Its really getting harder everyday to feel good.  I am getting tired of whats happening not because of covid but about not getting a big fat life changing Universe sent Financial Gain from every luck possible.  I understand that everything happens for a reason and the reason might come to us in some other time or when the time is right.  It maybe should cause when we get the answer now we might not be ready but thats the problem we are never ready we can endure and go thru this hardship in life cause thats how life is.  Every reason that is known is another question.  Right now I want 10 billion dollars usd cash now i cant understadn why cant the universe just give the money to me that easy.  Law of attraction in the some book i read says that we only attract.  I am longging for jackpot and thats what it gives me dissapoontment that i keep on getting jacpot.  I shluld feel that i have gain the jackpot that might change the output.  Everyday i keep on thinkkng of ways to get thru.  Honestly I am tired and willing to sleep and never to wake up

Today with Forgone

Good Day January 25, 2021 its been several months since this pandemic started and we have signs of a vaccine that would help eradicate the virus and or eradicate the human race.  Thank You for this situation that i have a chance to experience a zombie apocalypse.  I dont like it but well you cant get everything we want.  I have grown in this kind of environement there is a cost for everthing.  My mindset seems to see everything is for exchange.  Its like the anime alchemy equivalent exchange.  You can tranform something to ge something in return but you cant get something without anything.  The key word is transformation.  As we age we gain experience and lose time as we go.  Everyone have 24 hours and most of the hours we have are used to survived or thinking ways to get out of this rat race.  Thats a simple understanding of how lofe is.  Its nature when i say this selection and exchange is natural.  It feeds the cycle of the universe where everything should be of someuse for something.  Water as nutrients for plants converted to  green and produce.  The simple enlightenment of life.  People would say lofe is great, ofcourse when you get a nice exchange of something.  Its always equal even if you feel its not.  Thats the way life is.  We all want to be so lucky but there is a payment of that luck.  The only question is are you willing to pay the price.  I am pondering how much do i need to pay to ge what i want and is it worth it.  10 billion dollars is very nice and i am willing to pay certain things in exchange for it.  I like the problems that comes with 10 billion dollars.  I dont ljke fame or something. I like the freedom, the cool things i can do with it.  Problems that i like with it is we really dont know who are friends are. Envy and greed is just around the corner and everyone would missunderstand all your ideas and stuff.

Overall the price to have that kind of financial freedom is tolerable for me and i really think handling that much is easier than wasting my time left for nothing.

Today with Psyco

Good Day January 21, 2020,  thank you for letting me realize again that lofe is such a bitch.  This feeling never vanished.  It was simply given another look that maybe i have not tried a new thing that could help me with my current situation.  Apparently i have concluded that logic does not help me resolve the thing i want most.  Understanding that we as humans often asked for apples and often gets oranges.  Some people deal with this differently by saying i love oranges anyway.  Other tend to ignore and be depress cause they never got apples.  Some People dont care what fruit they got as long as they got some.  I am the type of person that make orange juice and do other stuff with the other fruits that i may get. The only problem is i am getting tired of making juices and other stuff to just make it interesting and meaning full. I may have a whole fruitbasket and do a fruit salad with out the one fruit i trully want.  I want is my apples to fall and i want it to fall now.  

I want to gain a significant amount of earning in a single stroke of unseen luck that withh change my lifestyle by 10000 levels.  That is what i want to have but it seems that the universe is hell bent not give me the thing i want.  Playing the lottery, betting big in a single Equity and hope it will rise to unprecedent levels.  That would increase my cash financial liquidity by 1 million fold or more.  Having this type of cash would give me security, freedom to do what ever i want with the limited time i have in this world.  Others might want recognition, achievement, love and or some kind of income.  My current want is to gain a significant amount now so that i could change the way i think in how to live my life.  I am very lazy and i dont want to work, i only want to enjoy and do other stuff that i consider interesting and meaningful.

I cant do shit cause what i want burns thru a lot of cash fast.  I understand doing stuff wont get it done fast.  That i know, but having a lot of cash would let me enjoy life without anything needs to be done to gain money.  I just spend and experiment the way i want.

Today with Regret

Good day January 19, 2021 today as another day have pass.  Yesturday was my father's death aniversary which we dont try to recall.  It always been a loss in our family to remind us what things might be if he was alive and did not pass so early.    What if scenario keeps on popping in my head.  Everything might not be the same as it is.  Multiverse might be created by this.  Realizing that what i am today is everything that happed and i may not be the person i am today if he is still here or stayed longer than he did.  Hardships and the current struggles might be brought by this event but overcoming them is what a person is built to do.  I find it really hard to find something to be grateful for today nor yesturday.  Thank you for my strength and my staff. especially my wife who have supported me.  I am grateful for my mom for every thing she did to earn a living to provide for us.   each day that the sun comes down it gives me a heavy heart why life is so unfair.  Life of each person seems to be unfair but the reality is we are always lucky but unable to see when to grab the opportunity becuase we are so focus on how to survive that we forget to live.  Living is not equal to surviving.  in order to live we must first survive and continue to do so.  Life is never fair but luck is even a bad joke to be consider as something that belongs to our life. 

It seems that luck again have passed by me and does not like to give what i want.  I may not seems like that but it does.  Luck again dont like my face and just spit some shit to my face.  I need to swallow another opportunity that missed.  its not pride i swallowed cause its easily swallowed but the chance to earn big and work easier after that.  Freedom have its cost and the cost for me to gain the freedom i want cost a lot.

Today with Just After the Virus

Good Day, May 17, 2020, Thank you for keeping us healthy.  Thank You for letting us survive and able to keep on pursuing what we desire.  Thank you for giving us a reason to live.

The word us that i describe is the whole human beings that was able to survive this catasthrophe.  we adapat and fight our way to survive.  The only thing constant is change.  This time another change is here, we might not be prepared or no body is prepared but we all should consider how to survive with this new kind of envoronment.  We can talk about economics, politics, human interaction and others.  The real thing we are talking is how well do human adapat.  we can say this virus is quite a foe.  If there is an asteroid big enough to hit earth and wipe 70% of the population.  Human would use all the arsenal they have to blast the asteroid to small chuncks.

I personally think that its more on the side of will. The will to survive and keep our civilization running to the longest possible time frame.  We have dug egypt and other old covolization and unable to clearly narate how each civilization came to be and ended or transition the the current civilization we have.  The only thing clear is it was broken and reingineered to fit the new kind of civilization.  The only means to survive is the adapt to the ever changing environment which is change.  The solutions in the past might not work well with the current problem.  The good thing is we survive the last catastrophe and we surely could find new ways or arrange the old solution to solve the new problem.

Today with Preface

Good Day, May 13, 2020,. Thank you for the songs that people created. Thank you for your books. Thank You for all entertainment in which I got to enjoy. I have found a way to publish a book. It is really scary to publish my day journals.

In my blog post, I have explained why I am writing. Going to 2010, I am feeling very down. the world is a very bad place for me. I cant see positivity, even if it stares in front of me. Problems seem heavier to solve and it comes endless. Constantly worrying and aware of my current situation. My personality is trying to solve the problem I am having. The problem of having hope and faith. I cant find both of them in my heart and mind. I figure if I read ways to deal with it I might find a solution.

I came across an article saying try writing down gratitude journals every day and find some small things to be happy. Today I keep on writing when I do feel something to write about. Fast forward to 2020, I still can't find hope and faith deep inside. I still have my dream.of having 10 billion dollars and it will still be a hope that I could eventually get it. I hope that I could do something great that would generate me such an amount. I felt for the past 10 years that when my life was given something I desire. Hope and Faith are in the corner. If something Good happens that is not my desire I feel lucky is the reason and I feel I can't rely on that too much.

I have a dream of writing a book, it's about talking to God and asking why about life. These blogs I have been writing for the past 10 years is like telling a divine being why the hell everything is happening the way it does. I got an idea to compile everything and publish it so that everyone would have a criticism that might help. People saying it might be written badly or they would just simply critique the grammar of the writing. Its only natural causes its a book. The main reason is to let others see if these conclusions of mind crossed theirs and if there's something wrong with me. If ever these turned to sell great then I would earn closer to my goal and I might be happier and find Hope and Faith to help others to realize theirs.

I can keep trying my best to reach my dream. Doing everything in my ability to create such opportunity for me to reach my goal. Writing helps me calm my mind and feeling so that i could go through my days. Getting up each day, moving forward to make something out of this so call life is what we all strive. I share everything in my taughts so that others might find inspiration from the actions i put forward or help others feel that every body is going the same struggles as they are. Everyone is different and everyone have their own struggles to face. I choose to face my struggles like this.